Getting up and Going Outside

 I woke up yesterday morning - and decided to stay in bed all day. I knew that chaos and mayhem were waiting outside. My bed was warm and snuggly. Why would you get up and go out into the whirlwind when you could stay warm and snuggly in your bed?

Except - I wanted a cup of tea. So, dressing gown and pyjamas and slippers, sitting at the dining table drinking tea. Almost as good at holding the world at bay as staying in bed.

Alas. There were things to be done, and only me to do them. Nothing for it but to have coffee then a shower, dress in clean clothes and head out into the day.

The first thing to do was to find out where Jim was. The nurses had called a funeral director and they had come at around 23:00 to pick him up. But I didn't know which funeral director. We had decided on the local place rather than a national chain, but I didn't know its name. The day nurses weren't sure - and Jim had already been taken off the system (a bit hasty, people!) Fortunately, there was a paper trail and I have now spoken to them.

I have cleared Jim's room (his name was already off his door - they're quick off the mark at the Mount Clear Aged Care Facility!) He didn't have a whole lot of stuff in his room and hardly any clutter but it still took two car trips and his picnic chair is in Stella's room waiting for there to be room in my small car.

I was really quite shocked when the funeral director asked me to come to my appointment today bringing clothes for Jim. Underwear. Nice clothes that hold special memories for me. Really? I don't think so. He hasn't worn underwear for almost two years but has worn pull ups instead. And anyone who thinks I am going to dress him in his best clothes just to have them incinerated has got rocks in their head. Jim and I have long thought that funerals are unnecessarily expensive and wasteful and that was a step far too far. Pyjamas. If you are going to your perpetual rest you need nice, comfy pyjamas. I have set aside a pair of pull ups and a pair of socks, plus his comfiest, snuggliest pyjamas. I would send his dressing gown as well, but I think I have adopted it. It's fairly new, nice and cosy, and hasn't been worn much. Perhaps I'll send a snuggle blanket instead.

There is much more that needs to be done but I don't have a death certificate yet. And, in my head, there's no hurry. I know I usually like to get things done as expeditiously as possible but I think on this occasion I will take my time.

So. No funeral service. Jim wasn't a religious man, so no point in a church service, and he didn't know all that many people in Australia. I do know people and I'm sure they would turn out for a funeral if asked. But if I'm going to summon people to celebrate Jim's life I would sooner do it over champagne, cups of tea, pieces of cake. And roast potatoes. Jim absolutely loved roast potatoes.

So in consultation with Jeanette we have settled upon afternoon tea (I can serve roast potatoes at an afternoon tea, right?) at my place on Sunday 10th September. If you happen to be in the area, please feel free to drop by any time after 2pm. (But please let me know you are coming so there are enough roast potatoes, jelly slices, apple slices and vanilla slices)

I am very pleased that I kept all the information we gathered for Jim's permanent resident visa. I have had to fill in a form for the funeral director which wants lots of details that I might not have known, like his mother's maiden name and dates and places of previous marriages and stuff. Fortunately, the visa application also wanted that information so I had it to hand. Perhaps I should pre-fill out one for me for when the time comes.