For some strange reason the house looked like a major incursion had been fought in it when we got up on Monday morning. We most certainly could not go away until Friday leaving it like that.

It was a bit difficult to know where to start.

At one end and work in.

I started in the kitchen, which had taken the brunt of the invasion. And the house was more or less tidy enough to be left alone in Marlo’s care by lunchtime.

We piled into The Vixen and Oscar, went to Sheffield to collect Freyja and admire her new room with balcony, and then head north to a farm near Castleside, near Consett in County Durham.

There are chickens. Lots and lots and LOTS of chickens. Apparently the farmers went away for a few days and the animal carers didn’t collect the eggs. Not only are there chickens - there are also several (noisy!) roosters.

We decided yesterday morning to leave the snoozers snoozing, the TV watchers watching - and Lindsey, Ian, The Builder and I made our way to Bishop Auckland to do a nice round walk. (The place we are staying has all sorts of useful information dotted about, including a book of walks in the Wear Valley.)

We found a Roman Fort. And several bridges. But not the bridge we were supposed to be turning on to and the mid point of our walk. Follow the wall and the fence until you get to the bridge over the disused railway line. Do not enter the penned area. We reached a fenced area, could see no sign of a bridge or, indeed, a disused railway, but could see people wandering around in the penned area. So - we entered it!!! Two young people sent us down the hill. Off we went. There were many walking tracks. Which way to go.

We didn’t really know where we were. The map we had wasn’t much use once you had lost your bearings. Then I remembered. I have an iPhone. It was in my pocket. I took it out and asked it where I was. And it told me!!

So too did some locals loitering upon another bridge.

We were in the Bishop’s Park. And a very lovely park it was too. But I really must remember to acquire Ordnance Survey maps when we are going out and about.

(I was about to ponder whether they are available online. Which would be a fairly stupid question to ask since SHU has a subscription and I am the subscription manager!! But I really meant as an iPhone app. Also a stupid question. OS are positively paranoid about their data security!!)

We had toasted teacakes and iced chocolates/coffees to celebrate our return to civilisation, then we acquired the makings of lunch and came back to the farm to find our young people outside playing cricket with the £1 plastic cricket bat and ball Taffa had bought at the Pound shop. We need something more robust. Austin has to keep taping it up with the packaging tape he bought for posting his eBay stuff.

Durham after lunch. Magnificent and very grand cathedral - but not, I think, the most “beautiful” in England. It is certainly spectacular. But I wouldn’t describe it as beautiful. Salisbury is beautiful (but not magnificent, though equally spectacular). Gareth, Lindsey, Ian and The Builder climbed the tower. I decided my knees might not be particularly forgiving of being made to climb up and then back down over 350 steep and winding stairs and went and had a look at the monks’ dormitory, now the cathedral library, instead. And had a stroll in the cloisters.

Then Tabitha, who had not been in the cathedral, but had been in the museum, came rushing up to say that there was a tour of the castle in five minutes. The Builder decided he had had enough touring and went off for coffee. The rest of us went on the tour. The castle isn’t open to the public, except for on guided tours. It’s the original college for the University of Durham and remains in use as University College. Lucky, lucky students, is all I can say. Walked into the Dining Hall ad was immediately transported back to Ormond College. Except Ormond quite obviously needs to add a gallery for the trumpeters to stand on.

Then we collected the beautiful bridge, reacquired Austin and Freyja (who had been making a futile attempt to post Austin’s eBay stuff while we were being Kulchered) and one car load went back to the farm, and the rest of us went to the supermarket for alcohol, more alcohol and a bit of food - and Twiglets. Lindsey is feeling deprived of twiglets.

Got back to find people playing croquet on the lawn.

We are staying in a building which was once a working part of the farm. Most of us are sleeping in the cow shed. Tabitha and Gaz are in the bull shed. There is also a cottage which was once the carthorse’s stable. And another which was once a small forge. I must say - it’s all been really well converted. And it’s well kitted out. We are very comfortable here.

Except that there is no wifi here. Everyone is cut off from the internet. Well - everyone except me and my iPhone. (Lindsey and Ian have iPhones but do not wish to pay the extortionate fees attached to using it as an internet device while travelling overseas!) This has caused something of a disturbance in people’s lives. Especially in Austin’s eBay life! I lent him my phone last night when I went to bed. Got up this morning. Made my way to the kitchen table where it had been left for me to collect this morning. And promptly fell down the two sairs that I had completely forgotten were between the bedrooms and the kitchen. My knee and back are not happy!

Time to get up. Bacon and eggs on toast for breakfast, then we are off in search of the Emperor Hadrian.