Deeply offended, I am. Outraged. Mortally wounded.

My one time friend, erstwhile pal Richard bounded into the (freezing cold) office this morning. "Morning chaps," he trilled in a cheery, jovial manner to my two colleagues. "Hello, you horribly, hideously, obesely fat thing," he trilled at me. Fat? FAT?!?!?!?!?!?!

Completely ruined my self-confidence, self-image, self-everything else he has. I shall go on a strict fasting diet immediately.

No further cakes or biscuits for the wage slaves in the offices on Level 2, that's for sure.

Woolly mammoth, indeed. Woolly mammoth! Just because I'm wearing my thickest, cosiest, stripiest winter jumper. Hasn't he noticed how cold it is down here? (Actually, I presume not - he's been wandering around in shirt sleeves all day!)

Woolly mammoth. I ask you!!!!!

Pfff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:-D